Saturday 29 June 2013

Santa Banta





Santa ne cafe mein ek ladki se I Love you kaha
Ladki ne chanta mara aur boli:
Kya bola?
To Santa rote hue bola:
Jab suna nahi tune to chanta kyu mara?


Santa: Agar nariyal ke ped pe chad jaun to..
engineering college ki ladkiyan dikh jayegi
Banta: Pir hath chod dena,
to medical college ki bhi dikh jayegi.


Bus Accident
Man Crying: Mera hath kat gaya.
Bahut dard ho raha hai.
Santa: Abey chup baith.
Wo dekh uska gala kat gaya,
Fir bhi chup-chaap pada hai..!!


Jailer: Faasi se pehle kisse miloge?
Santa: Biwi Se
Jailer: Maa-Baap se nahi
Santa: Maa-Baap to agla jnm lete hi mil jyenge
biwi ke liye sala phir 25 saal wait karna padega!! :d


Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.
Santa: Ye 3 mahine mein bacha kaise ho gaya?
Biwi: Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua hai?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur meri shadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: Ohh teri vakai, 9 mahine ho gaye!
time ka pata hi nahi laga?  


Wife bathroom se naha ke nikli
Wife bathroom se naha ke nikli to Santa use ghur raha tha!
Wife romantic hokar:
Kuch karne ka irada hai kya?
Santa 2 thappad maar ke bola:
Mere garm pani se kyu nahayi!!

Santa Car ki Battery change karwane gaya.
Mechanic: Sahab, Exide ki Daal doon?
Santa: Nahin yaar,
Dono side ki daal de warna phir Problem hogi.



Santa ke lips jale hue the
Banta: Kaise jale
Santa: Wife ko railway steation drop krne gaya tha.
Banta: To?
Santa: Khushi ke mare.
Train ke engine ko choom liya :*



Santa court mein judge se:
Aaj tak meri itni insult nahi hui,
meri nai padson ne mujhe nahate hue dekh lia he!
Judge: to tum kya chahte ho?
Santa: Badla.


Santa: CHADDI lelo CHADDI..
Girl: Tumhe sharm nhi aati, kya gande shabd bol rahe ho, koi dusre naam se kehte
.
.
.
Santa: OK!
POND ke KHOL lelo, POND ke KHOL!


Santa aur banta k bich mai fight ho rahi thi
banta:- saale mai tere kapde phaad k tujhe naanga kar doonga
santa:- dekh serious ladai mai romantic baat mat kar





                                                                             





SANTA : Lalaji dettol soap hai,
Lala : ha,
santa : acha vala hai,
Lala : ha,
Santa : achi quality ka hai,
Lala : ha bhai ha,
Santa : thik hai hath dhokr 1kg aata do..


Santa : oye banta machli khayega?
Banta : nhi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
Santa : oye chadd yaar, chappal pahen ke kha lena.


Santa Ko Beta Hua. Use Jyotish Ke Pass Le Gaye
Jyotish :Ye Jiska Naam Pehle Bolega Wo mar Jyega
Baccha Bola "PAPA" Aur Dusre Din Padosi Mar Gya


Jaj : Suna hai pichale 10 saal se tmne apni biwi ko dara dhamka k rakha hai.
Santa : Par Janab
Jaj : Safai ki jarurat nahi bas itna batao ye tumne kiya kaise


Ek baar santa ko koi 8th floor par bulata hai. Jb vo vaha jata hai to flat ke samne likha rehta hai "Santa April Fool" to
Santa likhta hai "Mai to yahan pr aya hi nhi tha.'


Santa : Sharab pite pite rone laga
Banta : Kya hua kyo ro rahe ho?
Santa : Yaar ki kara jis ladki ko bhulane k liye pi raha tha,uska naam yaad nhi aa raha hai


santa 2 doctor-apne kaha tha ki subah khelne se sehat thik rehti hai pr muje to koi fark nai pada?
doctor-konsa game khelteho?
santa-mobile mai snake wala


santa :mere padosi ka bacha gum ho gaya
banta :fir kya kiya?
santa :maine kaha google pe search karlo, mil jaye to download kr lena.


Banta Cigratte pe 2 metre pipe laga kr pe raha tha.
Santa : Tu pipe laga kar cig Q pe raha hai
Banta : Doctor ne kaha, Cig-Bidi se dur rehna.


Santa pe bijli ka taar gir gaya.
Santa tarap tarap k marne hi wala tha ki use yaad aya ki bijli to 2 din se band hai....


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