Saturday 29 June 2013

Santa Banta 2




Santa : Mujhe us ladki se bachao
banta : Kyo?
santa : Jabse maine kaha dil cheer k dekh tera hi naam hoga sali chaku leke piche pad gyi hai


Banta : Pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa : Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta : Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa : Lekin biwi ko nhi pata


Shopkeeper: This sweater's made of pure virgin wool sir.
Santa: You see I m not interested in the morals of the sheep.Just tell me, will it keep me warm?


Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mai hole kyu?
Santa bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.


Jailor : Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phasi di jayegi.
Santa : Ha Ha Ha!
Jailor : Kyon has rahe ho?
Santa : Mai to uthta hi subha 9 baje hu!


Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?
Santa : Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

Santa invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge Losses.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!


Santa was standing below a tube light with mouth wide open.........WHY?
Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light".


Professor Banta asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...


A street dog was chasing Santa and he was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing? Santa: I have an Airtel phone, but still Hutch network is following me.

The Teacher asked all the students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except Banta.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"






Photographer Santa was focusing on the dead body's face in a funeral function.
Suddenly all the relatives started beating him - why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"


Santa at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!


Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him. Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank's slogan was: We make your dreams come true...


Santa in Coffee shop wth wife.
Santa : Jldi Pi, Coffee thandi ho Jaye gi.
Wife : ki frk painda hai?
Srdar : Bywakof Rate List dekh
Hot coffee Rs.15
Cold coffee.45


Santa got new job:
1st day he spent 11 hours on computer:
Boss was happy & asked what he did?
Santa replied: Keybord te ABC agy pichy lagi c, O sidi kiti ae.


Train Chali, Santa 1 Dibbe Mai Char Gaye..
TT Bola : Kyun Paa Ji, Nazar Nhe Aate, Ye Ladies Ka
Dibba Hai.
Santa Ji : Sorry Ji, Mere Ko Laga Aap Mard Ho.


Santa - My wife died yesterday..
Im trying to cry but tears are not come out,
what to do?
Banta - No Problem.
Just Imagine she Came Back.


Santa : Train me raat bhar nind nhi ayi, upr ki seat mili thi, garmi bahut thi.
Banta : To xchnge krna tha
Santa : Kisse krta?
Niche ki seat pe koi aya hi nahi.


Banta : Yeh chaku kyu ubal rahe ho?
Santa : Suicide karne ke liye
Banta : To phir ubalne kui kya zarurat hai?
Santa : Kahin infection na ho jaye.


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