Gujrati Jokes

Q: What do you call a gujju with no knees?
A: Knee-less ( Nilesh )

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Mara maran par tame aansoo naa bahavsho,
Mara maran par dosto gam na karsho..
..Maari yad aave to sidha upar aavjo!!

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Jivan maa JAS nathi,
Prem maa RAS nathi;
Dhandha maa KAS nathi,
Javu chhe swarg maa,
pan eni koi BUS nathi.

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Tu hase chhe jyaare jyaare,
tyaare tyaare tara gaal ma khada padechhe.
Hu vicharun chhu betho betho
ke mara shivay aa khada ma ketla pade chhe!

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G - gentle
U - understanding
J - jolly
A - adorable
R - royal
A - aggresive
T - tough
I - intelligent

This much quality only 1 Indian people have:
Yes, its GUJARATIs.

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Bolya kare a maitri,
chup rahe a prem.
milan karave a maitri,
judai satave a prem.
hasave a maitri,
radave a prem.
to pan loko maitri mukine kem kare chhe prem?

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Shu karu fariyaad tari,
Fariyaad ma yaad chhe
Fari fari ne aave yaad taari,
Ej mari fariyaad chhe!

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Gujrati Dictionary with Guju Accent:
Sunno...........Snow
Egg-josst.......Exhaust
Fotaa...........Photos
Liptik..........Lipstick
Phast..........Fast
Phalowur........Flower
Gilaas..........Glass
Palty/Partee..........Party
Gourment........Goverment
Peejaa..........Pizza
Punj.........Sponge
Die Vors........Divorce
New Brand......Brand New
Istill.........Steel
Bowel..........Bowl
Jee TV.........Zee TV
Yuniversity....University
Istawbury......Strawberry
Isscooter......Scooter
dismiss........Screwdriver
Kaale...........Tommorrow and Yesterday
Vija...........Visa
Dayal..........Dial
Dabloo..Dabloo...Dabloo.......WWW
Jiro...Jiro Won..........Zero...Zero One
Lattri................Lottery.

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Why did Gujjus think the man who acted as Gandhi in the film was a women?
Bcoz his name was 'Ben' Kingsley.

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Why does the Gujju go to London? 
to see his Big Ben. 

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Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when was offered tea? 
Bcoz the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it. (snacks) 

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What is a Gujju picnic called? 
A snake in the grass. 

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Why did the American get scared of the Gujju? 
Because he said 'Sue Kare chee.' 

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Why did Bill Clinton have the Gujju beaten up? 
The Gujju told him, 'You are a very impotent man.' 

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Why did the Gujju go to Rome? 
To listen to Pop(e) music.

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Once 4 gujju wives met at a party talking about their husband's new cellular phones....

First gujju wife says to others... "Maro pati ne pass mota laura (motorola) che!....

Second gujju wife replies.."Aree sirf mota laura thi kya hoga? errection(ERICSSON) chahiye!....

So the third gujju wife steps up & says..."aree mota laura bhi thick hai, errection bhi thick hai, Par semen (Seimens) nahi to kya fayda?...

And then the fourth said.."Mota laura bhi ho, errecson bhi ho, semen bhi ho, lekin na kiya (Nokia) tho kya fayda??....

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       Kanjibhai was preparing wedding cards for their son at the printers. Kanjibhai was not very good at English so he asked the printer to help him.      After the printer had presented Kanjibhai with a draft , Kanjibhai quickly pointed out that the " RSVP " was missing .
      The printer was surprised by Kanjibhai's knowledge and asked him if Kanjibhai knew what it meant.
      Kanjibhai started to think and after much thought he replied : "Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP!! It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present!"
      Ramjibhai was downtown with his wife and four little children when he decided to take a Rickshaw home. Approaching a Rickshaw driver, he demanded, "How much will you charge to drive us to the Ghatkopar ?"      "I figure Rupees 2/- apiece for you and your wife," said the driver.
"I'll take the four kids along for nothing."
Ramjibhai turned to his children and said, "Jump in kids, and have a nice ride home.
Your Ba and I will take the train."

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