Father & Son

Father & Son Jokes

 Johnny’s father: Let me see your report card.
Johnny: I don’t have it.
Johnny’s father: Why not?
Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.



Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.

Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.

After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy said.  “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Small boy was at the zoo with his father.  They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.

“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”

“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.

“ …Which bus would I take home?”

Joe: What does your father do for a living?
Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

Father: See my son , when I was 15 Years old , I used to get Monthly Commodities, Milk, Vegetables and fruits all for Rupees 10.

Son: But daddy , Now you cannot get all those things , because now there are CC cameras fitted in the shop.

A father came home from office in the evening and saw his 3 Years old son sitting sad on the steps .

Father asked , What is the matter my dear son, Why are you sitting like this here ?

Boy replied , What should I tell you dad , There was a big Fight between me and your Wife.

Father: What happened to your results ?

Son: Our Teacher told me that I have to sit in the same class for one more year.

Father: Doesn’t matter if you sit for 2 or 3  years in the same class but you must NOT  FAIL in the exams.

Son: Daddy, When did you go to EGYPT  ?

Father: No I have not gone to EGYPT , but why are you asking like that?

Son : Then from where did you brought the MUMMY.

Father: You Idiot, See that neighbor’s  Girl she got 95% marks and you have failed. That neighbor’s girl…………………….
Son: Why are you repeating Neighbor’s girl several times, By seeing that Girl Only I have failed in my EXAMS

Father: How did you fail the final exam?
Son: Under water
Aather: What do you mean?
Son :All below ‘C’ level

                                                     
                                                                                       

 Pee Wee: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
Westy: Beats me.
Pee Wee: A POPsicle!

 Dad: How do you like fourth grade?

Son: It isn’t much fun.
Dad: That’s too bad. It was the best three years of my life!

 Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!

 Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse    goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”
“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”
A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”
“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”
A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”
“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”
The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.
“I work for 7 Up!”

  Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.

Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born

 Father to son:
whenever i beat you,
you don't get annoyed,
how you control your anger?

son: i start cleaning the toilet.
seat with your toothbrush

 Son asked to father: Why was the math book sad?
Father replied :Because it had too many problems.

Father: What will happen if the third war takes place?
Son: We will have one more addition chapter in our history book!

Once in a bar, one guy said to another..
"I slept with your mom last night."
after that whole bar was waiting another guy's response.

After a while... he laughs and says: Let's go home, Father, you are drunk....

An illiterate father with his educated son went on a camping trip..
They setup their tent & fell asleep.
Some hours later, … Father wakes his son & asks: Look up to the sky & tell me what u see,?
Son: I see millions of stars.
Father: And what does that tel u.?
Son: Astronomically,it tells there r millions of galaxies & planets.
Father slaps the son hard & says: Idiot ‘some one has stolen our tent
Moral : Education ruins our commonsense




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